TANGLED UP IN RED (EXCERPT)

COMEDY / HORROR

By Rich Kern

23

INT. PENNY'S HOUSE.

PENNY

You look so nice tonight, Jonathan. I’m still cooking. Would you give me your opinion on the hat I made for the marionette? See if he still moves well?

JOHNNY

I’ll give it a try. (He sits on the couch.) It’s great work. He looks like a true gentleman. (He operates the marionette.) Hello ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we have a song and dance number if we can remember the words!

(Singing to the tune of Isham Jones’ I’ll See You In My Dreams.)

“I'll see you in my dreams, Hold you in my dreams, Someone took you out of my arms.”

(IRIS pops up behind JOHNNY. She covers his eyes with her hands and finishes the tune with him.)

IRIS & JOHNNY

“Still I feel the thrill of your charms.”

IRIS

I thought you’d never say hello.

JOHNNY

Do I look like the silent type?

IRIS

(She hugs him.) I missed you, Johnny.

JOHNNY

Hey, is this a wig? Since when are you a red head?

IRIS

I’ve made more enemies these last few years. I still have to be careful. (To PENNY.) This is one of the good ones, Penny.

PENNY

Oh, I’ll bet he is.

(PENNY spits on the floor. PENNY and IRIS both cackle. JOHNNY is confused.)

IRIS

Penelope Le Sueur!

24

PENNY

What are the chances you two knew each other? I saw a match there from the day I dragged you into my home, Iris.

JOHNNY

Speaking of. I think you’ve got an admirer.

(JOHNNY brings the note to PENNY in the kitchen.)

PENNY

Oh heavens?

(PENNY reads the note silently and pauses in confusion. IRIS runs over and takes the note out of PENNY’s hands.)

IRIS

What a vixen! I knew you had it in you! Let me see that.

“On a moonless night you soar with… the wind… water… anticipation…”

Oh, mountains too. That’s a lot of landscape imagery but ok sure. (To JOHNNY.) This is a joke, right? This poem is terrible! Penny is not a dancer. Have you seen her try? She’s all heels! (To PENNY.) Sorry but it’s true. It says you are supposed to go to the window and shine your face upon the river to summon true love. Ack! Like this!

(IRIS twirls over to the window. She opens it and shouts out into the night air.)

My love! This way, my love! I am here! I yearn for you too! Our hearts will…

“…burn red like coal in the furnace together …hotter than the scorched sunrays of your…“ (Pause.) “Your red hair.”

(She moves back to JOHNNY in the kitchen.)

Johnny, what the hell is this?

(ERIK enters as if to sit at the PERCH, but instead he stands in the living room. No one can see ERIK. No one can hear him and he cannot hear anyone else. JOHNNY and PENNY remain in the kitchen where ERIK cannot see them. Whenever IRIS moves into the living room, ERIK hovers near her. ERIK does not go into other rooms.)

25

ERIK

And I cherish your reply, my dancer.

PENNY

For God sake, Iris, Jonathan didn’t write that.

(She takes the note out of IRIS’s hands, and points to the signature line.)

For God sake, Iris, Jonathan didn’t write that. This other man did.

ERIK

My soul is pulled to you.

(IRIS backs up frightened toward the living room window. ERIK shadows her.)

PENNY (To JOHNNY.)

Is this man dangerous?

ERIK

And destiny pulls us together.

JOHNNY

No, I don’t think so. He’s just a man on my delivery route. I bring him animals so he can do his weird experiments on them.

ERIK

And we will drink together its potency.

PENNY

Weird experiments on animals? You didn’t think to tell me that before inviting him to my home?!

(End of Sample Excerpt)