Blues Type Thing (Live)

Now in the time it takes
To cook your eggs
Somebody somewhere is dying
Somebody somewhere is getting saved
Whether it be deviled
Or angeled
Or scrambled
Or sunnyside up
Who really knows

Now in the time it takes
To fix your hair
Somebody somewhere is fighting brave
Somebody somewhere is running scared
Whether it be braided
Or spiked up
Or slicked back
Or combed over to the side
Who really knows

Now in the time it takes
To count your change up
Somebody somewhere is getting wealthy
Somebody somewhere is going bankrupt
Whether it be pennies
Or nickels
Or quarters
Or one hundred dollar bills
Who really knows

Dog (Live)

Dear father I ain't afraid
of the vampires anymore
Not since they put up
all the power lines in the corn
You see it fools them it fools them
Three hundred crucifixes all in a row
They are quarantined and cut off from the road

You you ought to see it
See it for your self
You you ought to see it
See it for your self

Dear father I ain't afraid
of the vampires anymore
Watching the dog bark at the wall
He can hear them scratching on the barn
They are trapped in the fields
Forcing flash fire from friction
frantic for feeding freedom
Wherever you see smoke
Also there is fiction
Yeah they're tearing it down
With nothing but nails

You you ought to see it
See it for your self
You you ought to see it
See it for your self
You you ought to see it
See it for your self
You you ought to see it
See it for your self

Dear father I ain't afraid
of the vampires anymore
Not like the way they are afraid of me
Of me of me of me
Not like the way they are afraid of me

Rapunzel (Live)

Climbing up the tower wall
Cross the moat
Tie your hair into a rope
Let it down for me

Hear the pounding of war drums
They are on the hunt for royal blood
For women weapons gold and rum
They are throwing rocks that weigh a ton

They'll beat the gates until they've won
They'll kill the guards and ram the doors
Your men will fight until they are torn
The northern wall is coming down

Rapunzel Rapunzel
Nothing stays the way you know

Lose your name and leave your throne
Put on all the squire's clothes
Hide your face and they won't know
Cut off all your hair and run

Rapunzel Rapunzel
Nothing stays the way you know

Meet me in the forest grove
Take the southside secret road
Cross the tall grass crawling low
Bring a sword and arm your bow

Ride with me we will leave tonight
Leave that fiery scene behind
The flaming castle and the broken wine
The pull of bloodlines and the push of time

Rapunzel Rapunzel
Nothing stays the way you know
Nothing stays the way you know

Simon (Live)

Fishbowl shrinking
Soup spoon clinking
Simon drinking all the water

Fishbowl shrinking
Soup spoon clinking
Simon drinking all the water

Simon squinting sitting thinking
He should have stayed in bed
And never said one single word
Flipping downstairs
Tripping channels in his head
Schrapnel in the brain until it's dead

But that's just a bad case of
the sooner-or-laters
All sorts of demands from
squandulators
Evil plans made by evil ferrets
and alligators
Trapped in hotel elevators
With every last loser and game hater

All sorts of girls flirt
with cuter waiters
Looking good on hooks and razors
Pretty ones
turn all the poor fishermen
Into master baiters
How about giving a hand
for all the tambourine shakers
Animal balloon makers
Cave man drawing on the cave wall
Tapers to a point
To a point

Fishbowl shrinking
Soup spoon clinking
Simon drinking all the water

All the water in the world
No it never said one single word
Until you freeze it into a sculpture
One giant iceberg to rule them all
To rule them all to rule them all

Simon silent solo knows no earnings
Burning golden gardens
Sharding hardened hanging paintings
Paining praying staying standing able
Staples maple leaves to make a tent
Leaves to make a tent
Maple leaves to make a tent

Boy Says To Girl (Live)

Boy says to girl
How are you and I going to save the world
Girl says to boy
I think we should plant more trees

Meanwhile deep in the forest
The rain on our sandals restores us
The view from the canopy is gorgeous
Monkeys eat fruit and the birds implore us
The tiger's asleep and the lion outroars us
Quit your yakking get on with the chorus

Never been one for sequels
Too much of it doesn't feel equal
Three of us kissing the people
For letting us hide in their steeple

Boy says to girl
You only get so much flesh
Girl says to boy
Then you better use it wisely

Meanwhile back at the hideout
Lobsters feed robbers who find out
The taxes given
to the deadly and ruthless
Come from those who stand
shirtless and shoeless
Come from those who are
silent and fluteless
Come from those who live
tieless and suitless
Come from those who stay
scattered and groupless
Come from those who are
reaching their hand out
And when the costly coffee has dried out
The cups in the cabinet go useless

Never been one for sequels
Too much of it doesn't feel equal
Three of us kissing the people
For letting us hide in their steeple

Boy says to girl
Today is the tenth anniversary
of the day that Maria told me
That life on Earth is just one big purgatory
Girl says to boy
Then what are you standing around here for

Meanwhile crossing the street
There's an old man in an old hat
from old New York
Using one arm to block out the sleet
Nothing to his name
but a suitcase full of forks

No he isn't concerned with evil
Awareness fairness or upheaval
Or demanding the knife retrieval
As long as the story is believable

Boy says to girl
Now I remember
what you were wearing
You were wearing your onion hat
Now I remember
you're not one for sharing
But you know can't hide
all the fun you had
Girl says to boy
Somewhere in a bar
where the grass is dying
There's a blind man hearing
about a deaf man crying
Boy says to girl
I guess everyone here
is just a little bit flawed
Girl says to boy
Then you know there's a good chance
you just might be wrong

Never been one for sequels
Too much of it doesn't feel equal
Three of us kissing the people
For letting us hide in their steeple

Honesty (Live)

I hope you're healthy
I hope you're safe
I hope your car runs well

I hope your roof holds up
I hope you're eating right
I hope you get accepted
for that better job
that you applied for

I hope your teeth stay in
I hope your boobs don't sag
I hope you make amends
with your mom and dad

I hope you're thinking about me
much more than I'm thinking about you
when you are lying down
getting ready to go to sleep

I hope you never date anyone else or
sleep with anyone else ever again
forever and ever

Oh honestly this is just honesty
Coming through
Oh honestly this is just honesty
You can't get mad can't get mad

I hope you get that loan
I hope your pets live long lives
I hope you can afford
to pay your bills on time

I hope you retire young
I hope you never get ill
I hope you don't choke on a sleeping pill

I hope you still go jogging
Wanna cry about me
Wanna die without me
Running right by your side

I hope you're healthy I hope you're safe
But I don't hope you are happy

Oh honestly this is just honesty
Coming through
Honestly this is just honesty
Not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it
Honestly this is just honesty
You can't get mad can't get mad

Wrong Lyrics (Live)

This is what you get
When you don't memorize
Your own songs
Disgraceful

Bones Chemicals (Live)

Yes it feels
You're the sun and I'm the moon
Chasin round
Whenever I'm with you

You are way too much
for me to deal with right now
You are way too much
for me to deal with right now
Thinkin about the way
that you know everything
before you find out
Thought bubble floatin by my head
and you're reading all the words before
I can say em
Can't keep a secret
from a psychic seeing mind reader
Why why try
In time you will see
in my dreamin picture images
That true beauty
comes from without

And if we have to be
Bones chemicals
Bodies and space
The least you could do
When I'm talking with you
Is do it face to face
Oh yes

Love (Live)

Digestion
I love you but you're keeping me awake
Third place
Sunset in the wrong kind of race

I push it down for you
You'd think I'd learn by now

Digestion
I think you love me too
Too much for your own good

I push it down for you
You'd think I'd learn by now
You'd think I'd know by now

Eeeeeeeeeee
It's just a means to an end
It's just a means to an end
Eeeeeeeeeee
It's just a means to an end
Eeeeeeeeeee

Confrontation (Live)

I brought my best friend to the market square
He's a six foot plastic polar bear
You wouldn't believe the stares we got

I brought my woman to the country
She's a miniature elephant made of ivory
And she hears about the irony quite a lot

I met my clone while I was shaving
Through the window in my bathroom above my sink
He was shaving too

And he just stood there staring never speaking
Probably afraid of what I'd think
Or what I might do

This confrontation I kinda fear it
When my limitations are so near
This confrontation I kinda fear it
When my limitations are so near

You And Me Ceiling Fan (Live)

So this is us
You and me meeting again
You and me ceiling fan
You know I still love you

And I could forgive you
For all your squeakin at night
For all your rattling
For all your rumbling

Only if you could forgive me too
For all my leaving in the day
To go to work
To see my friends

Yeah it's a shame
That you're just a metaphor
For thinking about the girl
The only girl I love

I won't say her name
I won't say what she looks like
I'm sorry ceiling fan
But it's a secret

I know you're jealous
Of me and my guitar
Down here on the floor
And I understand

And I know it hurts
When you have to hear
All the sounds and the music we are making

I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
Somehow

But when she's got to go
Off to do her thing
I'm lyin on my back so low
But you are still spinning
So this is us
You and me ceiling fan
You and me meeting again
You know I still love you

I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
I swear I'm going to make it up to you
Somehow

Caffeine (Live)

In the morning
I bring in the rain dish
Pull out all the water bugs
and put it on a boil
I wake up the hallway angel
with my footsteps in the kitchen
He rolls up off the sofa
for a cigarette on the porch

He says I wish I could levitate
ten feet off the ground
I'd live my life on the ceiling
spinning naked upside down
He says I could turn invisible
Find all the dirty secrets
after every girl I loved

Caffeine she used to love me
Until I told him he had to go
I said here take my torch
Hitch a ride on the magic pirate ship

It's only over if you hesitate
To step on through

He says God has gone bowling
at the greenwood lane on 53
He is betting all the locals
he can pick up all the spares
I said you're doin too much pissin
Too much talkin and too much thinkin
I said my socks are goin missing
maybe three at a time

He said hey don't stop there now
Who do you think it is that took em
I said I know it's not my roommate
I know it's not his dog
I know it's not my girlfriend
I know it's not the dryer
I know it's not a monster
And I know it isn't God
And I'd retrace all my steps
Might have to do it barefoot

It's only over if you hesitate
To step on through
It's only over if you hesitate
To step on through
It's only over if you hesitate

Match Book (Live)

There's match book in the pocket
Of the artist in the corner
Yeah he thinks he's writing poetry
About caution without warning

But the tall man in trench coat
Has a dried bouquet of flowers
He is patiently and quietly
Reading over the shoulders

And I look him in the eye
Oh I look him in the eye
When I say haven't I seen
that necklace before
Makes me feel like a kid
He says don't you know
I've seen everything
Where you've been
what you said
and what you did

He says
I see the guard in the doorway sleepin
I see the clown with the water bottle leakin
I see the mayor with the handshake sneakin
I see the mold on the countertop creepin

Summoned a dream catcher storm
With a tattoo of his family crest
He says the seance keeps it sexy
I see the red heads here are already the best

He says
I see the merchant riding on horseback
I see the vendor riding by train
I see the cashier who looks the boldest
When he's feeling kinda plain

Summoned a dream catcher storm
With a tattoo and a family crest
He says the seance keeps it sexy
I see the red heads here are already the best

He says
I see the traveler
with the pots and pans clankin
I see the cherries
on the chandelier hangin
I see the underground
radishes explaining
To the tomatoes
on the sidewalk straining
About the ends of the plans
they are faking

I see the nation's migration contemplation
I see the cobwebs in the subway stations
I see the start and the stop of all creations
I saw all your crosswalk violations
I saw all your doorway anticipations
I saw that look on your face

Summoned a dream catcher storm
With a tattoo and a family crest
He says the seance keeps it sexy
I see the red heads here are already the best

We Can Miss The Movie (Live)

Hey I've seen this one before
Hero saves the day just in time
Main character dies in the end
But a sidekick lives on
Drives off into the sun

And credits roll
And credits roll
And credits roll
And credits roll

Lights come on theater clears out
It's just me and my girl
And the guy with the broom in the aisle
sweeping popcorn off the floor

I lean over and I whisper in her ear
Boy chases girl
She wakes up and says
How did the movie end yeah
Cause I fell asleep in the middle

One of these days
everyone will be dancing on T.V.
So right now doesn't even matter

We sit around can't think of much to do
My girl gives a smile
to the guy with the broom in the aisle
and he says we can stay another round

People come sit in opposite corners
Hot dog dances on our screen
Lights turn down and our movie begins
Maybe we'll make it through this time

I lean over I whisper in her ear
Hey I've seen this one before
Just like the time before
and the time before
And the time before that I said

One of these days everyone's
going to be dancing on T.V.
So right now doesn't even matter on T.V.

Live At Espresso Cup
Solo Show (c. 2007)

Production

Live at Espresso Cup is a slice of the legendary live coffee house show. It is one part heartfelt-quirky and two parts tenacious fire. Kern's imagery is scrambled with poignance and abstraction. It is a passionate, searing, whimsical experience which is punctuated by a good natured banter with the audience.

If you were there, you felt how the next line Kern sings might be a sweet nugget of mental candy for your midnight snack, or it might be a banshee wail that could cause the power to go out in the coffee house and make you spill your latte.

Credits

• Recorded by Erik Grant, Produced by Panacea
• All guitar and vocals were performed live by Rich Kern in a single evening at Espresso Cup
• Tambourine performed by David Goffron
• All songs written by Rich Kern
• Album cover art by Rich Kern